According to their studies, the older we get, the more we will match our name. Wild, but interesting theory.
What? That sounds like absolute hokum. It’s like saying variable names change the data they contain.
Sounds stupid and ridiculous as fuck.
No, no! You see, the specific combination of sounds that we use to identify and address a given person shapes that persons body, especially their facial features!
How else would you explain how every person over 50 named Henry looks exactly the same‽ Or why people over 50 named Charles and Charlie look so similar?
I’m 44, and have a friend who is 43, and has the exact same name, and everyone we know always comments on how they’re 100% certain we will look like twins in 7 years.
It’s just science. Get your head out of the sand!
Hell, I wouldn’t be the least amount surprised if everyone over 50 named Gretchen not only look identical, but are also the exact same height. I guess that’s an idea for their next study. I can’t wait to be proven right.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to read how my day tomorrow — and, incidentally, that of the other 1/12 (roughly) of the planet born with the same zodiac sign — is going to turn out.
Doug Bowser, President of Nintendo America, enters the chat.
Top example of nominative determinism.
Ooooooh so that’s why my face changed when I changed my first name. I thought it was the hormones, but no, t’was the new name!
at 50, everyone has the face he deserves.
Welp, I’m screwed.
Btw this is a clear example where in statistics, temporal order does not imply causality.
We clearly are given our names waaay before our adult faces develop; and yet, it’s more likely that our genetic traits (and therefore adult faces) determine the name, rather than the other way around.
Writers of children’s names books are going to have a field day with the data from this study.
While reading through the comments, I also found this interesting thing:
I couldn’t find a picture of the most made-up sounding real name I have ever heard: Colonel Sturmhard Eisenkeil (Stormhard Ironwedge) of the German army.
I am stealing that mmand name for tabletop
