It doesn’t get easier. The challenges change, but the level of effort remains. As insane as it sounds I found the teenager years to be more challenging than the younger years.

Early on it is feed them, clean them and monitor them. When they get into the teenage years they start working against themselves. That is when it gets insane.

When they can hold their own food in fork it will be easier. When they can use the restroom and clean themselves it will be easier. When they can help you clean the house it will be easier.

They’re going to introduce all new emotional strain to your life eventually, but they get remarkably easier as they become more competent. Part of your job is to make them competent at things.

This is about the most “your-mileage-may-vary” topic possible, but almost certainly, yes, especially when it comes to the stuff you talk about. Kids at 2yo just need way more helicoptering than they do a year or two later. Our son developed a heck of a talent for entertaining himself roundabout that age, so yeah, you’ll get to have your own leisure time back. That’s just kinda the sacrifice you sign up for, the first few years you get very very little.

I’m a dad to an 11-year-old, a 9-year-old, a 6-year-old, and a 4-year-old. I wouldn’t call myself an expert, but I have felt all the ways you’re feeling now and so I do have some thoughts.

First of all, yes, it does get easier. You’re at or near the absolute hardest part of having a young child. For my kids, I won’t sugarcoat it, the hardest part was when they were three (we called it “threenagers”), so you may have another year or two yet to go (though if you look at our age span, you’ll see that we always had another baby right around that time, too, right up until the last one who was the easiest, so take that as you will). But after that phase, I will honestly say that my kids have become four of my best friends. It’s a weird friendship, but it is a very rewarding one.

Second, there are different kinds of hard. You mentioned the rut, the exhaustion, the amplification of existing depression and anxiety, and the feeling like you aren’t strong enough to do a good job; that’s a great summary of the four different ways it gets hard. Not all of them get easier all at once, but they do all get easier. Kids grow up. That’s both a blessing and a curse.

Third, part of the way it gets easier is that you just learn better ways to deal with the stuff that’s hard. I needed a routine so that my days didn’t become a rut, and I needed to journal (my form of journaling is heavy on photography right now) so that I could see all the ways I was actually doing a good job. It sounds like you’re already medicated and in therapy (it took me four times as long in parenting to get to that point, good on you). I will be honest, I still haven’t really found a good way to get enough sleep. But I have it on pretty good authority that teenagers sleep a lot, so I’m hopeful that it’ll sort itself out soon.

Overall…well, I’ll put it like this: Last year, my oldest beat me at chess, 100% legit, for the first time. My 9-year-old is maybe the most thoughtful and empathetic person I’ve ever known. My 6-year-old just learned how to read (a bit late), I think mostly so he can play Pokemon for the first time. My 4-year-old is just so excited about everything and anything. They’re making friends and having a life outside of me, they’re helping out around the house, and they’re coming together as siblings.

Being able to write a paragraph like that is what makes it worth it, and what really makes it easier in the long run. Sometimes the greatest accomplishment is just keeping them alive for twenty-four hours (and I don’t just mean right at the beginning), but eventually you get new and different problems and they start helping with the solutions.

At the end of the day, you obviously care a lot, and that’s the #1 clearest characteristic of a successful parent. So it sounds to me like you’re on the right track.

Father of an ADHD 9-yr old who I love dearly. To quote a song from Hot Mulligan:

“Things don’t get better just different”

Somewhat easier, yeah. I’ve got a 4yo girl now, and she has become very responsible. I still have to do a lot of work getting her to TK and stuff, but I have a lot more time and don’t have to fully keep an eye on her because she knows to ask permission.

However, your mileage may vary. My 2yo is more like your 2yo and I’m not certain he’ll be a responsible 4yo in two years. He’s getting spoiled by his big sis, too.

But I’m not back to being like my childfree self yet, and that’s a tough bar. I used to get to sleep until noon cause of my job; not so much now…

Yes. Two & three year olds are blisteringly cute, but take so much attention, you are right.

Around 7 is the age of reason, so that’s when it really eases, you can explain more and control less, and teenagers can be legit helpful. But even 3 years old is easier than 2 because they can speak better, so are not so frustrated.

I remember with my first, she was truly a terrible toddler, just so much will and energy, had tantrums. On more than one occasion I had to remove her from a store or other public place. Put her in gymnastics and all that energy got focused on sports, was a good thing eventually.

I had 4 and married into 5 more - one day you will be thinking it all went by so fast, it’s crazy. Hang on, you will make it. I won’t say it gets easy soon, but less exhausting soon. Do you have a partner? Can one of you do more of the morning work and the other the evening shift?

You should edit your post title; I almost came here to give advice on the paperwork for establishing a temporary monopoly on your intellectual property ;)

For parenting, YES it gets much easier physically really just about now (2-3) as they start to be able to play more independently, (esp imagination games – encourage it, play along a few times and they will continue on their own).

It gets a lot easier physically when they go to school even that half-day a few times a week gives them a lot to process.

Beware, it gets much more challenging emotionally right around 3-5. This is where they will try to find what the boundaries are. Set clear boundaries and stick to them. Be a hard immovable rock just a few times and you both will really appreciate it for years after.

EDIT: oh yeah and be prepared to go into another room, yell obscenities at the little brat into your pillow where they cannot hear, and come back into the room as the Patron Saint of Calm Parenting. DO what you can to avoid losing it right in front of them or worse at them. They will test you.

My daughter is 20 and in college now but I was a single dad and spent many days like you where parenting took every minute I had.

It absolutely gets easier. You’re In the phase where they’re mobile, can’t do anything for themselves, yet somehow, if you look away for 3 seconds they will burn the house down.

They start taking care of themselves more and rmore, requiring less constant watching until one day you wake up and they’re 20 and in college

It’s a full time job for 18+ years, on top of the things already in your life. It isn’t easy, but god damn it’s fulfilling to see them grow. They do get very funny when they hit 3 or so and are grappling with language. They become proper little people.

Slightly related: One thing I’d suggest is opening an email account for them, and any time they say or do something funny or memorable, send an email about it. I love reading through the hilarious things they’ve said across the years that you forget about, and I’ll give them the account when they’re older.

Personal faves are my 3 year old calling a compass a clock of the world and my other one at 4 years old telling my retired boss, who had just told him he’s grown since she last saw him, that she’s also grown, into an old lady. Or saying, when he lost his favourite hat, ‘that hat was a piece of my heart.’

Parent of 4 and 6 year olds here–short answer, yes. Specifically, around age 4 is when you get better sleep and your kid doesn’t require quite as much supervision. There are challenges at every stage, but 0-5 is the hardest in my opinion. It’s okay to put some things on hold and lower your expectations for that time.

yes when they move out

Once they go to school, you will feel like you finally get some free time back and now you’ve learned to appreciate free time like never before.

I’ve been reliably told, “The first fifty years are the worst”. Hope that helps.

NO! Rise up for your kids. Playing it safe is a death sentance. “Functional unemployment” nearing 25% in U.S., analysis finds