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Hollywood.

Correct.

Since it hasn’t been mentioned yet: List of unofficial WebAPI clients

Is sailfish OS even maintained?

The latest release is dated 2024-09-20, so it appears to be. I haven’t used it myself though.

Yes, it does. I’ve just checked and confirmed the presence of /usr/bin/lsblk on a Debian 12 liveUSB.

Edit: formatting

Or just use lsblk.

It looks like it may need to be charged, or the OS is corrupted somehow and needs to be reinstalled (source).

For SailfishOS the lock screen should look like this.

Agreed. I also paraphrase the instructions in my own words to make them easier to follow later on.