I’ve not used it, but I’ve heard a lot of good things about Helix

Thank you for the reminder that I’ve been meaning to buy a menstrual cup.

I like that having a controller gives me more versatility in my seating position when gaming. At my desk, I can use either the controller or mouse and keyboard. If I get tired in that position, the long wire on my controller means I can sit elsewhere and play (my desk is positioned such that I can just rotate my monitor and play it from my sofa if I want).

I also enjoy that a controller is more portable than my mouse and keyboard for playing games on my laptop when away from home.

I hadn’t considered this, so thanks for the info

When you get a moment, you could try switching over to the tty again, login to the shell, and then try typing in the command btop (which I think is the Bazzite specific version of the default “top” command, and should be installed by default). Top is basically a task manager, and you can see what programs are running (and taking up resources) right there in the terminal. If your system freezes up, you can often unfreeze it by killing the unresponsive programs. It’s probably useful to familiarise yourself with that interface before you need it.

I didn’t get the joke until I read your explanation, but now I do get it, I think that it’s a very funny joke.

I’ve never had things break after doing updates in Arch. Am I doing something different to most people in the “pacman -Syu” memes, or is the likelihood of breaking stuff overdone as a joke

Echoing Jubilant Jaguar’s sentiment about defaults mattering, I think that sometimes an excess amount of choice can be overwhelming such that a user is less empowered to make choices about things they do care about (Leading to a less steep learning curve). Sensible defaults need not remove anyone’s choice

I was telling a friend about him the other day. She said she found it odd how it seems like he became a martyr for his ideals, in that the way that he is remembered is almost like he’s a mythological figure, more ideal than man. I agreed with her that the loss of humanity due to such a high profile death is tragic, but that it wasn’t the internet who turned him into a martyr, but the FBI (and whoever else was pushing for his prosecution).

They threw the book at Aaron Schwartz because they wanted to set a precedent. They wanted to turn him into a symbol, and that led to his death. I’m proud of how the internet rallied around him and made him into a different kind of symbol, but like you, I feel sad to think about what could have been if he hadn’t been killed (I know that he died by suicide, but saying that he “died” felt too passive). It sucks that he’s just a part of history now.

A huge aspect of this also is that it disproportionately benefits academics and students in parts of the world where there is less institutional access to journal subscriptions. That is to say that SciHub has been a significant force for democratising knowledge and countering historic inequities.

I revived a friend’s old laptop by installing Linux on it, and I told her that using Linux entitled her to a small amount of “nerd creds”. Years later, she told me that it did end up eliciting mild approval from a woman who ended up being her partner for multiple years. The system works!

If being a supportive ear is something you’re willing to do, but you’re struggling with the constancy of it, one possible way to frame your need for space might be to open up a little about the uncertainty you feel about how to support her, and how you feel bad for not knowing how to help more. I imagine that often, your delay in replying to texts is because you’re trying to respond but don’t know how. Your sister is at the age where people grapple with the fact that adults are often just as clueless and overwhelmed with the world as teenagers, which is made harder by mental health stuff. Maybe showing a bit of vulnerability here may help her to understand that you do care, and that you’re trying really hard to support her, but you have a lot to learn, and that figuring that out will be a process that involves both of you (i.e. I imagine that your sister is not especially good at understanding and communicating what emotional support she needs — she’s only 13 after all— and learning will take time). I suspect that the unreasonable demands that your sister makes (“when they don’t give her exactly what she wants 24/7”), and her responses afterwards may stem from her feeling unfulfilled when she does get what she wants, because a mentally unwell teenager isn’t necessarily going to want healthy things. Hopefully she’ll be able to work through some of this in therapy.

Sometimes if I am struggling with mental health and I message someone, I end up stewing in anxiety as I refresh my phone, hoping for them to reply. That can be pretty harmful, and lead to unpleasant dynamics in relationships. Maybe it would help to carve out time to reply properly. For example, when she messages, replying with a specific time at which you will more substantially reply. This would need to be discussed with her first, and I’d frame it like the space that you are needing is in order to better support her, because “it’s not fair on you if I’m too distracted to properly process what you’re telling me. I want to be fully present, and listening to you, but that’s not always something I can do on short notice”. The challenge that’ll be hard to communicate to her is that, whilst your love for her is infinite, your energy and ability to help is not. I’m really getting a sense of burnout from your post, and it’s tragic that your sister’s insecurity causes her to misinterpret your wish for space — she doesn’t realise that you having that space is a necessary part of being able to support her.

It might be useful to discuss a sort of “tier” system. For example, when a friend who was emotionally supporting me had to take a step back due to burnout, she emphasised that I had blanket permission to call her if I felt like I was at risk (of self harm and/or suicide). Ofc, it’s hard for someone who is in a mental health crisis to gauge how severe that crisis is, but I would hope that a mental health professional could help her to draw up a crisis plan (which would ideally involve self soothing strategies also).

My last suggestion is that maybe it would be nice and useful to carve out some regular time for you two to do something fun together. I remember when I was a mentally ill teenager, it felt like my entire life and all my relationships were consumed by the depression, and the few instances I got to do something nice and normal stick out as bright spots in my memory. Communicating this would probably link into the vulnerability I mentioned above, and being open about how you deeply love her, but you have been struggling because you feel like you’re not doing very well at supporting her. A lot of mental health treatment focuses on reducing the bad stuff (whether that be anxiety, self-injurious behaviours, compulsions etc.), and it can feel like the bad stuff is all there is. Only suggest this if spending time with your sister in a “fun” context is something you genuinely want, and try not to frame this like it’s a pity thing — the purpose of this endeavour would be to benefit both of you, and to strengthen your relationship. It might take a while to find something you’d both enjoy, and you both might have times where you struggle to engage with it, but I think that it’s a useful way to build towards a hypothetical future where your sister is still unwell, but is coping far better, due to engaging with a range of different support.

This comment has thus far largely focused on your sister’s feelings, so I’ll finish by saying that although you feel out of your depth, you’re doing really well. You’re recognising that you’re not coping with this, and that’s good, because your feelings and struggles are just as valid as your sister’s. It can be easy to dismiss one’s own needs when a loved one’s needs appear far greater, but you can only usefully help if you look after yourself too. That’s what you’ve been trying to do, and if it feels like you haven’t done too well at that, it’s because there is no easy guidebook for this. Sometimes when your sister blows up at you, it will be nothing personal, and it’s as if it’s the ill mental health speaking. Sometimes, when she blows up, it’ll be because you’ve legit messed up and it can be hard to discern whether you owe her an apology if her reaction looks identical to when she’s blowing up “irrationally”. Sometimes she’ll say awful, hurtful things that it’s strategically better to shrug off due to her mental health, and sometimes it’ll be better to hold her accountable, because ill mental health may be a reason for acting a certain way, but it’s not an excuse. It’s messy, and it’s tough, so it’s especially important that you are also supported in looking after your own wellbeing.

I use Annas(hyphen)archive(dot)org

Adding the solution to your post is a classy move, and I approve

I dual boot Fedora and Arch. Fedora was just a fluke because it seemed like one of the most mainstream distros, and I was a Linux noob.

I liked Arch though because the Arch wiki is so useful for a beginner to learn from, even if you’re not on Arch. At first, Arch seemed too complex and difficult for me, as a beginner, but when I kept finding myself at the Arch wiki when troubleshooting, I realised how powerful good documentation is. I installed Arch with a “fixer-upper” type mindset, with the goal of using the greater power and customisability that Arch offers to build a config/setup that worked for me (learning all the while). It was a good challenge for someone who is mad, but not quite so mad as to dive into Gentoo or Linux From Scratch

My friend has had quite severe ill health, including some unfortunate, impromptu hospital trips. I bought them a Steam Deck as a gift, shortly before their health worsened, and it has literally been a lifesaver for them. It has been tremendously powerful for them to have a way to stay connected with their gaming friends, even when they can’t make it to their desk.

I don’t own a Deck myself, but this alone would make me a big fan (though I also appreciate that the Steam Deck has made streamline gaming on my Linux desktop)

A friend who is (was?) a writer told me that it’s tremendously difficult to find work nowadays as a writer, and so much of what is available is just proof reading and copy editing AI slop. Apparently it’s pretty soul sucking, especially when they’re basically forbidden from doing any significant rewrites or error checking, and they’re expecting to be grateful for the opportunity

I find myself commenting far more often than I did on Reddit. I remember once that I lamented that Lemmy doesn’t have a “super upvote” in the way that Reddit gold used to be (which is a silly thought, given that I have never, and would never pay money to gild a comment). However, I realised that on this more discussion based platform, a short but meaningful comment can readily function as a super upvote. I think the lack of karma accrual for comments/posts also promotes this.

Just adding onto the good answer you already got, but the thing that made this click to me was understanding that if you’re not port forwarding, you’re limited in the connections you can make to other peers. Specifically, you can only connect to peers who are fully available. Whereas if you’re port forwarding, then you can connect both to people who are limited, and to people who are fully available.

I imagine you would get faster download speeds if you were port forwarding, but my impression is that this mainly is a factor for seeding, which matters more if you’re on a private tracker that requires a certain download/upload ratio; it’s way harder to keep that ratio above 1.0 if you’re limited in the peers you can connect to.

“Discord just last week shut down a server that was my main local friend group, and we had to scramble to reconstitute it.”

Damn, that sucks. How big was the server? Do you know why it was shut down?