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Cake day: June 24th, 2023

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  • Kids! I thought when I was a kid I wanted them no matter what. In my early twenties I decided I only wanted kids if I could find the right partner. Now I have one. Sometimes my partner is great, sometimes he sucks. I don’t care, because my kid is great. She’s a joy to be around and gives my life purpose in a way I didn’t realize was possible. My whole purpose is just to enjoy reading her a story in that moment. My whole purpose is to feed her when she’s hungry. My whole purpose is to look into her eyes. My whole purpose is just to enjoy the moment I’m in, and she accidentally causes me to be fully present so often. It’s amazing.

    That said, I would say if you’re not 80% sure you want kids, don’t. Figure out what would get you to 80% first. Financial stability, a good partner, a solid career field, etc.







  • My ex (though really his mom i guess) taught me you can just run a half empty dishwasher. I grew up without a lot of money, so we weren’t running the dishwasher until it was full (big family, so pretty often). But when you’re one or two people, it never fills up so I was just hand washing dishes, hating my life. They ran the dishwasher every night no matter how full or empty it was. At 9pm, the dishwasher started. It’s stupid to say it changed my life, but now I just run it whenever I want. I also run my washing machine all the time and folding half loads is so much better, I no longer hate laundry.



  • ChexMax@lemmy.worldtoAsklemmy@lemmy.mlAdvice on finding a partner?
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    4 months ago

    Yeah, I think sometimes people hear stop looking for a bf/gf and hear stop meeting people. The trick is to focus on bettering yourself and/or being happy outside of a relationship and your natural boost in confidence and value will likely get you out of your relationship slump. If you’re actively pursuing friendships with no stakes beyond genuine enjoyment, I think it does up your chances.

    Also people hear stop looking for a relationship, and hear stop dating. I think it can mean just stop looking for the one. Stop looking for someone who completes you. Take your foot off the gas, be open to a shorter relationship or fling. You might be surprised what you find in a relationship when there’s no pressure for it to work. My sister and I both found our husbands in relationships we thought were definitely going to only be short term.