If they could kick in your door and take away your DVDs, they would. Fuck em, pirate away.

I dunno, I tried purple potatoes once and they were pretty awful.

🫗

Yeah, but these days I’m more tired than irritated.

Oh I’m sure this will end well. /s

This is the most well deserved “you fucked yourself” in the history of words.

Yeah but I don’t put my shirt tail on my face.

Oh I still wash my hands all the damn time. Covid made me a germophobe. Also I’m disabled and live at home so.

I haven’t touched a door handle with my bare hands in years. Paper towels, coat sleeves, the bottom of my T-shirt - whatever it takes.

Venture Capital.

Chicago style Pizza. It’s almost never made in my own country much less anywhere else.

If Elon was burned down it might help. Wouldn’t hurt at least. Well except Elon. Burning is painful as hell.

At most he’s going to shell out money that amounts to pocket change and just keep doing it. Nothing will change.

That is how people fucking die in undignified but hilarious poses. Do not stand on any part the toilet if you value having your skull in one piece.

You could try rummaging around at 2nd-hand stores or pawn shops.

I mean yeah, if you’re poor. Like me. I’m poor and don’t have a dishwasher. Though we did have one when I was growing up.

Don’t tease us with hope.

I’ve seen a dishwasher bend tines before. Mostly if they’re cheap, thin forks and you put them tines down in the dishwasher. Forks go tines up.

It’s confusing on purpose so you give up before finding the one with no ads and just pick the fifth one down the list

Not exactly but I have a related story. Girl I used to date, her grandparents died and left like a million dollars to her parents. Guess what they did with it. Guess.

They gave it all to their church. The pastor retired and bought a brand new house.