Nobody who bike commutes is fat.

Y’all trying to get me banned from .ml again. I’m not falling for it.

Bofa deez nuts

It’s obviously bofa

I read this in werner herzog’s voice.

IT PUTS ON THE UNIX SOCKS

What if I don’t have the socks?

Can you live without using your thumbs?

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The one which lives in my attic just moved out for the summer

Pigeons are pretty dope though. They waddle around like they are part of the landscape, and it’s like “bro you can fly why are you walking?”

How can you speak of the bin chicken and not link to the song?

Stray is so mean. I like to call them free cats.

When I went to Scotland I just wanted to see the Hairy Cows and the goddamn loch ness monster

The best part about not having a family is that I fart whenever I want

I don’t understand why people are so defensive about this. Study after study shows that cats are fucking terrible for native ecosystems.

Not just that, outdoor cats live much shorter lives. There is literally no reason to put a cat outside unless you hate your pet and your ecosystem.