Well played.

Gotta get that deep clean in the shower ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

The only time I ever did was with Microsoft years ago on the Xbox 360.

I bought a game online then a couple days later it kept telling me I didn’t own the game but they still took my money. So I called customer service and after being transferred for the 6th time I finally lost my shit. I explained multiple times that I’m not angry with the rep but that this whole situation was completely unacceptable and it either needs fixed immediately or I’m trashing my Xbox and buying a Playstation.

They gave me a full refund and let me keep the game.

I’m a professional social media browser.

I think I’d actually kill myself.

Job: Cook

Person: Manager

“No one wants to work anymore”

No one ever wanted to work motherfucker. That’s why we’re fucking paid to be here. If you weren’t paying us we wouldn’t fucking be here. But you pay us the bare fucking minimum and expect us to work like we’re paid immense luxury wages.

Take a sandy brick and insert it as a suppository.

I work in food and the amount of customers that act like every mistake is a personal attack is wild.

If you actually think someone is deliberately messing up your food you need to just stop going there entirely.

Just because you don’t understand something within the first 5 seconds doesn’t mean it’s stupid.

Also information changes on a daily basis. Just because someone gave you different information than what you were taught doesn’t mean they were taught wrong. Look it up.

The bear would eat women alive while they simp for an actual killer.

White Knuckles by Five Finger Death Punch

There isn’t one.

The fact that any of us are alive at all is a cosmic fluke.

You can try to make one if you want but it’ll only hold meaning to you. Isn’t that good enough?

I’m mixed handed. Not to be confused with being ambidextrous.

Mix handedness (cross dominance) is where each hand is used for different things. I write and use silverware with my left hand but if I were to throw a ball or punch something I’d use my right hand.

Most of the time it results in me not knowing which hand doing a particular thing will be most comfortable with until I do it.

I’m not a bad person. That’s all I really care about.

Ngl I know nothing about water pillows I’m just using conjecture from having used a water bed.

If you have pets of any kind it’s inevitable that somethings gonna pop.

Probably the same reason waterbeds fell out of style.

They’re more trouble than they’re worth.

Not me but my partner is 36 yrs old and can’t swim.

Honestly that’s why I hate sports. It started out as just disliking it but after working food service my whole life I’ve grown to hate sports due to how much it affects my job.

Watching sports of any kind.

I get made fun of for playing video games and shit meanwhile millions of people lose their shit over grown ass men chasing a ball.

I’d be less insulting about it if I wasn’t ridiculed every time I bring up not liking sports.

I drove through an f3 tornado without realizing it was a tornado.

Was headed home after work one night and my girlfriend at the time wanted taco bell so when I finally headed home I was met with a wall of rain that immediately blinded me. I pulled off the road into a clearing and as soon as I did a lightning bolt hit the telephone pole next to me.

Needless to say I floored it and moved a decent distance from the pole which was now on fire. I waited for the rain to clear a bit and decided it was time to drive home.

Bad idea.

Next thing I know I’m literally dodging falling trees left and right with the wind almost forcing me off the road. I eventually made it home but not until having to turn around multiple times due to trees blocking roads and having to drive over downed power lines that I didn’t know were there until I was already driving on them.

3/10 wouldn’t recommend.

The sad part is I recently drove through another tornado and I thought it would never happen again 😭

I’m 6’3" and look like I’d rip someone’s throat out for coughing wrong.

I cry really easily when in conflict 😅