Alcohol and drug use aside, I have changed a few things about myself and my routine that have helped me tremendously. Maybe they can help you, or someone else:

1. Cook for yourself. Find some simple recipes for wholesome meals (i.e. wholesome in the sense that it meets your nutritional requirements, and that you make it yourself most from scratch).
   • I tend to focus on lean meats, high protein, and green veggies.
2. Set aside one or two hours in your day for just yourself. Play video games, read a book, watch a movie, or take a walk. The idea is to scratch a personal itch you would otherwise deny yourself because of responsibilities or “lack of time”.
3. Naps. If you can, try to take a nap each day. Try to stay with 20-30 minutes, but recognize like any habit/hobby, it takes time to get it right.
   • I’ve gotten to the point where I’ll set a 30 minute timer and only actually nap for 20 minutes.
4. Meditation. I usually do this when I nap or go to sleep for the night. I have a pair of Bluetooth headphones that are in a headband (for sleeping), and I’ll cue up an hour long ASMR or guided sleep video. The guided sleep ones are real good because they teach you box breathing, and help keep your mind focused on yourself so it doesn’t wander into the things that keep you awake.
5. Develop a regular cleaning schedule. Not only will it keep your house clean and tidy, but it allows you to focus your energy into something productive and positive.
   • I use my Notes app to create my to-do lists, and check things off as they get done.
   • If I do something not on my list, I add it and immediately check it off; having a really long list checked off feels real good.
   • I don’t care if I get my list done in a day or week. It’ll get done.

CBD gummies for me, but yes, samsies. Cheers!

Nothing will get better.

Thank you for confirming what I said. 😊

This may or may not help, but here’s my two cents:

Windows was originally built to be as user-friendly as possible because its target audience are non-tech-savvy people. It then evolved into being a business OS. So security was never its first priority.

UNIX was built for tech savvy people to do business-sensitive stuff, and required sophisticated security models. Linux was modeled after UNIX (Minix specifically), and thus inherited those same principles. It evolved to become more user friendly. But security remained a priority.

Now, that said, both Windows and Linux are configurable. You can make Windows more secure with effort, just like you can make Linux less secure with effort (and I don’t mean simply using root all the time).

There are diehards on both sides , and they will make excellent (or terrible) arguments for their favored OS. So you need to decide what works best for you and your use case and go with that. 😊

I still sometimes face the shelves because I’ve been there and I want to show solidarity.

Counseling is the way to go. It’s going to take a lot of time, a lot of opening up, and being honest with your counselor and yourself. Don’t expect to see results immediately. You will get frustrated with the process. But you have to keep going.

Also, don’t be afraid to find a new counselor if your current one isn’t working for you. And only you will know what that means. But when you find the right one, it will make a huge difference for you.

At the same time, you may need to give your therapist multiple chances. What I mean by that is that you will not always see eye to eye with them. And that’s okay; especially if they’re challenging you to move past something big. But if you constantly feel something is off, then trust your gut. This is about what’s best for you.

I genuinely wish you the very best of luck.

That was me two years ago (and some change) when I was still married. My ex wife was the one to pull the trigger, and it was the best thing she could have done for the both of us (and our kids).

I was mad at her for a while. It was also terrifying having to move out and start over by myself, with no friends, and being a single father every other week. But I am sitting here in my house, hanging out after coming home from the gym, and simply enjoying the quiet time I have.

Yeah, I do miss having a relationship. It would be nice if I had friends too (I lost those in the divorce). But, it’s also nice to not have anybody but myself to answer to sometimes. And if I don’t do the dishes or take out the trash, there’s nobody there to give me attitude about it; it still gets done, but on my schedule and my terms.

All of that to say that if you’re genuinely not happy, and you feel there is nothing left to fight for, maybe leaving is not the worst thing you can do; it’s scary as fuck, but not that bad in the long run. Save your money, make your plans, and be open and honest with your partner when the time comes.

I wanted to take a moment to offer a different perspective. It sounds like your friend is disassociating. That doesn’t make him a bad dad. It just means he might be dealing with things that he is trying to protect himself from on an emotional level. I won’t try to conjecture what they are, because I don’t know him nor do I know his situation. And if you’re willing to take my advice, I’d suggest giving him the benefit of the doubt and just being there for him; whatever that may look like. You might even try to ask him about it (but be willing to accept that if there is something going on, he may not be ready or willing to talk about it).

Good luck to your friend.

That’s a really good question.

My first two trains of thought would be 1) door open, or 2) no going to your room to be alone with the person you’re attracted to. But at the same time, I remember that it’s going to happen, regardless of what I do or say, and my first concern is that they are safe.

So really, I don’t know what I’d do, and I’m not looking forward to finding out in the foreseeable future (I have a tween now, so my days are numbered).

I’m generally a nice person who wants to help and do right by other people. But, I also have to balance that with my abundant paranoia and distrust of people. So I dunno.

They certainly seem to be a master at it.

I have a weighted blanket. Some nights it’s the best. Some nights I feel trapped by the weight. That aside, I find that if I keep one leg out my body temp is just fine. Otherwise, I get too hot. But also, some nights my leg gets too cold and I need to cover back up.

~“Normal” is a privilege I cannot afford.~

It’s more than being rolled into Microsoft. It’s being owned by their AI team.

Oh don’t worry. Apple has been working very hard on enshitifyjng their OS. They just don’t get reported on as much as Microsoft.

It just feels like its only purpose is to be a magnet for narcissists.

I’ve seen a few dating profiles near me with women claiming to be in Mensa. I’m glad they mention it, as it’s a dog whistle for me to move on to another profile that will inevitably ignore me because I just don’t stack up.

~That’s meant to be funny.~

Damnit I was going to make the same joke.

An argument can be made that all actions people take are for their own self-interest. Even things like helping the community is done for reciprocal benefits for yourself plus the general increase in respect.

I believe if the act benefits someone else more than it benefits yourself, then that is what differentiates selfless from selfish.

That nobody gives a shit about you, especially if you are in any way not mainstream, and they’d rather you not exist than to help you.

Yes.