• 8 Posts
  • 96 Comments
Joined 5 years ago
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Cake day: July 18th, 2021

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  • I always thought I had a crooked tooth. It felt that way whenever I touched it with my tongue. It has bothered me every day for years.

    However, it was only yesterday that I asked my dentist about it. She looked at my tooth and said it was perfect. At first, I couldn’t believe it.

    Apparently, teeth are usually not symmetrical; usually the side facing the center of your mouth is more square-y. The side facing away is usually more bulbous.

    I’m shocked. And a bit frustrated, because it seems as if the way forward is accepting that I’ve got a tooth with a protruding corner that my tongue will forever feel.

    That or I can pay a bazillion dollars for a completely unnecessary dental procedure.

    I think I prefer accepting my corner.





  • Thanks for reaching out. Sorry for taking so long. Here are my questions regarding dogs with seizures: what do you do while a dog is having a seizure? Do you know what they may be experiencing?

    I ask because I have a neighbor with a dog that is practically left alone most of the day and most of the night and sometimes has seizures that we can hear and that my neighbor confirmed via text messages. A long time ago we reported my neighbor to the local animal control body, but they claimed that they couldn’t do anything unless we could prove the animal was suffering. After collecting neighbor testimonies and recording ourselves in our homes listening to the dog (we had to prove that we were recording ourselves and not the neighbor), we filed a formal complaint. Now we’re waiting for animal control to take action

    I guess my questions at this point are out of curiosity and compassion for the dog. In case the complaint doesn’t come to anything, maybe my questions can also be fodder for future, more effective complaints.





  • I’ve met Christians who have explained their train of thought.

    Their strongest argument, in my mind, is that the Christian god created the universe for humans to choose to live well. This god is not intervening and simply created the universe’s initial conditions, much like a clock-maker. In this view, Christians simply choose what kind of life they want and they hope it will get them closer to their god.

    It would seem that the choice of being progressive does not stop many Christians from meeting their god. In fact, I’ve met people who say that progressive causes are the way we build heaven on Earth.

    Another argument I’ve heard is that the Christian god has said lots of things to lots of people over long spans of time. These utterings have not always been exactly the same. Sometimes the Christian god says some things to some people and some other things to other people. Therefore it is a good Christian’s duty to dutifully reinterpret the Christian god’s words.

    I don’t particularly like this second argument because it seems unnecessarily complicated.

    But the first one seems more coherent and with less moving pieces.




  • This is a matter of defining words. It’s fine to play the game of “which word best corresponds to the phenomena”, but I prefer playing another game: what function or what purpose is this word or this definition serving in context?

    It would be sad to see “racism is structural” as an excuse for people to be cynical assholes (as opposed to tactical protesters). It’s much better when it’s used to achieve an equitable and fair world.

    Beyond function, there’s also another framework that could help you: complexity dynamics. Racism happens within a complex system. Within that system, there are powerful actors, constraints, and constructors. Understanding this makes it clearer why, even if polite society is polite to marginal groups, systematic discrimination in schooling, credit, and incarceration are still structural racism.

    If this clicks with you and you wanna learn more, let me know and I can recommend some stuff :)






  • The goal is to have a good working environment to live good lives and do good work.

    The fact that your boss pulled in other coworkers could be interpreted as a red flag, as something fundamentally wrong with your boss. However, without more information, I think this situation could be workable. In other words, there are things you can do.

    Again, the goal is to have a good working environment to live good lives and do good work.

    I think a good working environment is one where errors can be talked about openly and without fear. I do not think the solution is “praise publicly criticize privately”. I think the solution is for your team (including your boss) to create psychologically safe environment. How? By emphasizing the goal, the purpose of your work. By admitting to mistakes or lack of knowledge to accept fallibility. This is especially helpful if your boss does it. By appreciating when someone openly shares concerns or mistakes. By creating rituals or habits of inclusion, such as well run meetings or effective information-gathering methods.

    Do all of those recommendations sound hard to implement and naive? I think for many teams they are. But the reality is that psychologically safe teams exist, and they perform better than teams that don’t have it.

    If it’s hard to implement it, why am I bringing it up? Because I think it’s important know exactly what went wrong with your meeting with your boss. It’s better to have an accurate map that shows a steep canyon than a fake map that shows a nonexistent bridge.

    So what do you do?

    Here are a couple of suggestions:

    • learn about psychological safety. Amy Edmonson is the authority on the subject.
    • learn to have Crucial Conversations. It’ll help you now and it’ll help you forever.

    If you vibe with what I’m saying, let me know and I can give you more suggestions. At the same time, it’s totally understandable if you don’t think my path is viable.


  • To evaluate “clanker” as a word, I think it’s worthwhile to evaluate its function in context.

    So, what function is saying “clanker” serving? When someone uses it, what stories does it make more or less likely? Does it bring more stories of kindness, playfulness, and empathy? Or does it bring more stories of cruelty, aggression, and callousness?

    I will not answer those questions in this post, but I think those are a good starter point to evaluate “clanker” as a word.