I mean, crushes that you saw all the time and you were close with, and ones that weren’t good people. My ex-crush, this Polish girl I nickname “Helen” on here, turned out to be a Christian with internalized homophobia and was an ableist asshole who hated special education students and made fun of me behind my back.
I never really fully stopped caring for them, but I don’t want to build my life with them.
An unexpected side effect is that I felt exultant when they found someone to build their life with. I sleep better knowing they are cared for.
Anytime I look back and think “what if”, I realize it would have been bad. We’re both better off separate from each-other.
And it hurt to be near each-other, so we don’t stay in close contact.
But none of that invaldiates all the wonderful things we know about each-other, better than most people do.
And it doesn’t stop us from celebrating each-other’s victories from a distance.