Lately I’ve been thinking about death: it happens to all of us, it’s something normal, it will happen to me, I could even die tomorrow. Even if I don’t want it, I will die, like everyone else. I’m not exceptional just for being me. No matter how many gods I invent, no matter how many opportunistic preachers I pay because they promise to save me.
I’m just a monkey among 8 billion monkeys, I’m insignificant. Nothing wrong with that. It is what it is.
My life so far: take the path of least resistance. I have a job I don’t like much but I do it good enough so I don’t get fired, I enjoy cooking, fishing, poetry and drawing, hobbies that are cheap. I don’t need to keep up with the joneses.
There seems to be a perception that somebody like me is a loser, lazy, somebody who fails to live up to his potential, maybe I should try to do something exceptional with my finite time on earth, leave a legacy…
But that doesn’t appeal to me. After I die I won’t feel nothing, nor will I care about a legacy, so what’s the point?
Did realizing your time on earth is finite change how you see life?
Feel free to point out if this is me being depressed or if I need to snap out of my misanthropy, as somebody put it. I don’t consider myself depressed but after seeing and reading what humans do to other humans I don’t trust the better angels of our nature can make the world a better place.
That is pretty intense! :O i do wish you the best with your recovery! I dont know how i’d feel if i ended up injuring my hands like that, but i do think scars are pretty awesome. They prove that you have overcome something in life and that you’re still alive and kicking. I really like my scar where my breast used to be. I’m forever changed, but the change let on my body is a reminder that i survived something difficult. If you find the mental energy for it at some point, you could look at the scars on your hand in the same way. You survived something pretty wild and you have a cool story to go with it.
Yeah, i think itsjust a good thing to say next time you go to a barber, that you just want yiour hair cut and no massage. It’s totally fair to do that. I also think your family has a point. And whuke i dont know you at all, i do sense that you might be stuck in this loop of negative reenforcement. I totally get it, because I have been in one of those before, especially when I had depression in my younger days and everything seemed bleak. It was like all the good things around me were invisible and I only noticed all the bad. It’s not even something i did deliberately when i was really down. It just became a thing because my brain was so stuck on my misery that i didn’t want anything to be better. It wanted to selfdestruct, which is why depression is nothing to scuff at.
Have you been checked for depression, my friend? Maybe you need someone or something to help you guide you out of this spiral you are in because it can’t be fun to feel this awful all the time? You deserve to be happy and to find something to look forward to even when things are difficult like they are right now <3 it doesn’t surlrise me that you’re struggling when you feel like everything is crumbling around you. It’s hard to be hopeful when you feel lost.
I think in my case, I have already gone through what to me was the hardest time of my life when i was young, so everything that comes after that, is somehow less awful than the bad thing in my youth. Even if they are objectively worse now in some ways. I feel better prepared for hard times and i know that after a period of hardship, there always comes something better from it eventually. Every single bad thing that has ever happened to me has resulted in something good later in life either directly or indirectly because i made different choices and learned new lessons.
Every bad, abusive person I have met, has guided me toward finding good people and to appreciate good people a lot more thab i would have, if i had never met bad people.
And i also think that one of the hardest lessons i have had to learn is to let go when i get hurt or go through something hard. I’m definitely not perfect in that area, but it’s sometbing i work on.
You only get one life and while that life is gonna test you, it is in the end up to you to make that lemonade out of those lemons! It’s okay to upset. It’s okay to grieve and rage and all those things when shit is hard, but when it becomes a sport to selfdestruct, that is when you need to reach out and find the help you can’t give yourself so you have a chance to enjoy the time you have left! You really never know when you will never again hug the people you love the most or feel the sun on your face or hearing a piece of music that touches your soul. Depression is the mental equivalent of the immune system attacking the body and it doesn’t have to succeed.
I think you deserve to be happy, friend!
well everytime i see my burn scar, it reminded me of how painful and traumatic event it is, and anger me so much because its not my fault that i get those burn, this is why i prefer not to remember it and avoid it as much as possible.
yeah i hate barber nowadays having bad massage and still doing it without permission, which means everytime i got haircut, i have to remind them to no massage. also its simple to stuck in negative loop, when bad luck streaks happens like this, it feels like you are not safe and can be attacked again.
i am actually diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression, and i still battling it for awhile. i even have medication that i takes daily so i can sleep and this bad luck streaks is not helping at all. to be honest, it is difficult to look forward something when you are in situation like this, i just dont expect much anymore.
also i still pretty naive, i want to meet good people without meet bad people, its like i just want sweet thing without bitter, when something bad happens, i will always blame god or whatever thing that let this happens to me.
i am just tired, for me too much bad thing happened this year, its one problem after another. whats point of life when what awaits you is another problem right? i dont mind having peaceful and boring life actually rather than life full of problems.