I believe I am exhausted. I got exhausted of causes when a friend dropped me or given me a preluding sign that our friendship was at an end when they told me I was ‘hopeless’ that I wasn’t jumping up and down for feminism.

It’s like, I know what I stand for and I do want to see more of and support the rights of women. The problem is that, with a lot of causes like feminism, it’s kind of mushy. It isn’t straightforward, it is loud, it is a winding path. I just feel like just simply supporting the rights of women isn’t enough with it and that there’s something more.

And that I’m expected to devote all of my time and energy and effort to it just to prove it. The least I can do and have done anymore, is whenever an issue involving women comes up and someone is attempting to shut them down, I’ll speak my mind of it.

But I’ve got a life too to live here and I don’t want my identity tied up in whatever I believe in politically or socially. I see so many people seemingly burnt out or mislead in causes where it’s all about just being loud and proud. What good is being loud and proud if there’s no directive?

And that’s the key problem I have with a majority of protests. I don’t think going out of my way to stand somewhere waving a sign for hours is what I think a good way to spend time with. I believe we should protest smarter by fighting with facts and being more focused than just allowing intrusive and irrelevant directives take hold of certain causes.

Though I don’t think a lot of people are ready for that so I just bow myself out and whenever I do, people point at me saying I no longer support the cause and that I must be with the other side. Bullshit that I am, I’m just too tired to fucking activist.