For me it was the fact that I would always be slower than everyone else and I would have to put in twice the effort.

  • NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    It’s been 9 years, I’m married again (happily), and my ex-wife is never coming back.

    It’s difficult to go from best friends who tell eachother everything, to strangers.

    It took a lot of therapy for me to realize that we both played a part in our marriage ending, and it wasn’t all my fault. But, I also learned in the process that my childhood really screwed me up, and I needed to deal with it, and reconcile with the fact that I didn’t have a loving childhood. The abuse, both verbal, physical, and sexual has had a lasting effect on me as an adult.

    But, most importantly, I learned that I can heal from all of it, and grow as a person.

    I think she’s happy now, and so am I. So even though I still miss her once im a while, I know things worked out for the best.

    • Elaine@lemm.ee
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      3 days ago

      I feel this in my soul unfortunately. Learned some wild stuff about my family not too long ago and it’s hard to reconcile things now.

      • Anissem@lemmy.ml
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        3 days ago

        Same, not recent but I have a long list of eye opening facts I’ve collected throughout my life. Eventually you just accept it all. It’s not been easy to get to this point, it took a lot of mental anguish to get this numb to it all.

  • AtariDump@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago
    1. People die unexpectedly. Tell anyone and everyone that you love verbally that you love them (even if it’s man to man). Don’t leave anyone guessing as to how you felt about them.

    2. Not everyone is a friend for life, even if you’ve been friends for 5/10/20/40/80 years.

    3. People change and you can’t control that.

    4. Recording the people you love speaking; preferably while you ask them about their lives. See #1

      • AtariDump@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Yes.

        Not on that level but I’ve lost a friend because we were both a little stubborn. I’ll be the first to admit I didn’t handle the situation well (granted, we were all drunk).

        But, that friend also needs to acknowledge that they too did not handle what happened in the best way and not double down by threatening to sue other friends that were at the event for a orior year’s issue.

        It’s a giant mess. The last thing I told them ~2.6 years ago was that this didn’t have to be a friendship ending event. And here we are; haven’t spoken since then. Some days I miss them and other days I wonder if I’m better off without them and the energy they bring.

  • lordnikon@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    It’s that i won’t be having a long full life like my parents and I will have a much suffering up to my painful death.

  • Inf_V@kbin.earth
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    3 days ago

    probably that the majority of people are self serving and extremely fake. it’s pretty insane how many “activists” there are that hate the people they supposedly want to protect.

    • lath@lemmy.world
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      That happens because it’s a social act. People who don’t want to, but have to due to some sort of obligation or as an indirect action towards achieving something else.

      Activism is a chore they have to do, so without people in charge sincere in what they do and aware of this type of obligation, any attempt at serious activism will end up half-baked and likely to do more harm than good.

      It’s tough to find people who do something for the sake of it and not as a springboard meant to pursue other interests.

    • ghostrider2112@lemmy.world
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      Good observation. At least with some of the more rational Republicans that I have conversed with over the years in the US, that has been one of their complaints with people on the left. That is where some of them come up with “nanny state” (setting aside that they have dozens of other ways they would love to create a nanny state themselves).

  • Kurtagag@lemmy.ca
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    I’ll never be the same again after my brain injury.

    In some ways thats a good thing but Im not 100# sure I’ll get all the walking stuff back exactly

    • RebekahWSD@lemmy.world
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      It is very hard and sad, knowing my house has no easily consumed chocolate.

      I could make some chocolate peppermint crinkle cookies but that would take awhile… why can’t chocolate just appear next to me right next to my drink! Alas.

      • ByteMe@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        You know what? Do it! It will be fun! Put on some music, start baking and at the end you’ll have cookies for days + you can share with people

        • RebekahWSD@lemmy.world
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          Once all my cooking bowls are cleaned, I’ll make some! We had waffles this morning, so all the cooking bowls are dirty.

          Oh right Ihad some chocolate on those waffles.

          I need more! We all need more.

  • Zexks@lemmy.world
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    That an unfortunately large portion of my family are stupid MAGA’ts. I always knew they weren’t exactly tip top in the faculties department but they usually had the right directions. That’s shits completely gone now. Sort of in relation to that. Just how dumb the average level is. The lack of troubleshooting capabilities, the disregard of knowledge, the irrational hate for the ‘other’ the just complete contempt for anyone who doesn’t directly effect you day to day. The schdenfraude from the faceless trump voters is a nice trickle but it’s becoming maddening how much of it there is. I’m finally beginning to understand the need for so much history in school. Unfortunately there is an uncomfortably large portion of the population that simply can’t learn from words and can only understand experience. It almost feels like a hidden great filter.

    • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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      i’m convinced that calling it misinformation is part of the problem.

      misinformation is the proper word for it, but the word carries with it the connotation that it’s intentional or ill willed; so misinformation that doesn’t seem to have either are given a pass.

      for example: take the piece of misinformation that you shouldn’t go swimming 30 minutes after you’ve eaten; it’s misinformation like any other but allowed to perpetuate because it doesn’t seem ill willed or intentional.

      that means that any misinformation that seems innocent is allowed to perpetuate and that’s how propaganda takes hold; repeat it enough times and it seems like an established & unquestionable fact and, therefore, innocent, so it flies under the rather and keeps getting perpetuated as fact like the misinformation with swimming & eating

        • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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          and you’ll forever be struggling with it because that type is impossible to distinguish from the other type if you don’t have the right frame of reference to detect it.

          your experience with eating and swimming gives you a frame of reference that lets you detect that swimming less than 30 minutes after eating is bullshit, so you’re able to recognize it as the misinformation that it is and having a proper frame of reference like this is the only way to combat any misinformation.

          it’s impossible for anyone to have a frame of reference so broad that they can detect all misinformation; not even a group of people can either. becoming something of an expert on the subject of the misinformation is the only thing you can to do help it and, even then, being an expert is relative.

          instead, you have to see misinformation as weeds in a mental garden that you will forever have to keep maintaining for your entire life; more weeds will always find their way into your garden and it’s up to you to keep clearing them out so that your flowers can shine through and recognize when the flowers you’ve chosen are the wrong ones for the garden.

          • AnIndefiniteArticle@sh.itjust.works
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            Right, but this isn’t weeds in my garden, this is someone intentionally dumping toxic waste that’s killing me and anything I try to grow, including any weeds that might have tried popping up.

            • eldavi@lemmy.ml
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              the weeds are the misinformation and if those are getting killed off too; then your problem isn’t misinformation.

  • SomGye@dormi.zone
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    Realizing that I’ll never be able to achieve any of my previous hopes or “dreams”, it’s too late, and that life is fundamentally uneven and unfair.
    Similarly, realizing there’s no sense of “karma” or balance in real life, it’s just a crutch that people can use to justify or rationalize things.

  • big_slap@lemmy.world
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    not to sound corny, but becoming self aware of who I am a couple of years ago and identifying the best path forward. since then, my life has been so much better.

    its really hard to admit to yourself what your faults are, but once you do, the next steps should work on how to fix the problem and not beat yourself up over it. I’m not exagerating when I say I’ve never been happier.