Don’t feel ashamed for being attracted to older men. But a word of caution, if you’re in your 20’s, you’ll probably attract older men for the wrong reasons. This was my experience when I was in my 20’s. The people I attracted were just as immature as I was just with way more baggage. As I got older myself I found that to be less and less the case. The divide between 35 and 45 isn’t as big as 25 and 35 as far as life experience goes.

Also don’t give anyone the time of day who doesn’t support you. I don’t mean surround yourself with sycophants, because that’s not support either. Good friends are going to build you up, but also call you out if you’re being dumb. This person doesn’t sound like a good friend.

Like what @cheese_greater@lemmy.world said:

Learn to be really good at being by yourself. Spending some time alone will be really good for you if you view it as a time for self love and a time to work on yourself. Adulthood can be very lonely at times, and it only gets worse as you get older, so being comfortable with being alone can help you find balance and not feel that loneliness as you age.

Only give attention to the people that build you up. Ignore those who put you down or are negative. There are too many people on this planet to get hung up on one or two people. Make new friends. Ones that support you for being you.

I’m going to say it’s usually bad to suddenly disconnect from someone. It’s ok to distance yourself instead; but send some kind of response acknowledging the phone call and maybe say you want to keep to yourself for a while.

Can you survive without other people, like can you be alone for awhile and get on with only your own company?

Therr’s a saying that if you cant be alone with yourself, you should learn to do that before partnering up. There are no guarantees in Life besides Death, Taxes, and at some point you will likely be alone whether sooner or later.

Best to address that while its easier to adapt. Nothing wrong with seeking out others company and friendship/love but they cant necessarily give you all that you seek with perfect uninterrupted continuity always.

There are times you will be alone regardless of the reason and you do a massive favor for future you to be adept at handling yourself in dryer times so you dont introduce ill-fitting substitutes into your life out of a simple inabillity to be ok with yourself.

Friendship as adults is difficult and any healthy friendship requires accepting each other as is provided everyone is respectful of each others qualities or preferences and not overstepping each others boundaries and limits but also that uncomfortable aspects are transparently bought into where it doesnt compromise their authenticity or yours

If you decide that you want an older partner or that is whar you have determined you are attracted to and feel for, that should become non-negotiable in terms of how you live your life and the people you allow in to surround yourself with.

Contacting your old friends who seem to have not made an effort to stay in touch or even in mutual good graces likely isnt going to change their minds or allow you to be authentic without unnaturallt compromising your standards for people who dont seem to respect even you in the first place, much less any personal detail that is incompatible with any notion of respect for you that is possible in the future. That is a sin you would perform against yourself and it has consequences that lead to you self-denying when you feel others require it to keep what is only ever a probabillity or chance for their continued association and engagement.

Not a healthy lesson I dont think. If you need something or someone, get a dog or a cat that will love you unconditionally and help you avoid loneliness in the same way people eat at the Costco foodcourt before shopping so their desperate hunger doesnt lead to them making decisions based on immediate urgency rather than what is truly necessary, useful, and sustainable—or that which they actually truly know they want and it makes sense to buy.

Don’t fall for all the pick-me-too products that dont generate value or that dont value you in turn. They cannot be of value to you in this light

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